December 31, 2014

A Beautiful Mess. In Retrospect.

The thirty-first day of December, two thousand and fourteen. The last day of this year. Where did it go and what did I do with the time? Sometimes it feels as though time moves so fast. That one moment we are in the early days of a new year and then in the next moment, we are closer to the end than we are to the beginning. My days kept flipping over at a dizzying speed yet, at the same time, there are moments during this year that seem as though I lived them a lifetime ago. 

Yesterday I posted a photo to Instagram, captioning it "A Beautiful Mess", and after doing so I felt that if anything could capture what this year was to me, that one phrase said it all. At times, yes things were a mess and on a couple of occasions so was I, but with the clarity of hindsight and the ability to put so many things into perspective now, it was an overwhelmingly positive year. It was my beautiful mess. Life isn't always the proverbial bed of roses and this year, the bouquets were in abundance but there's always the tricky thorns to navigate.

Rewinding the clock to this time last year, I couldn't have predicted what 2014 would have in store for me. The highs and the lows. The losses and the lessons.  The opportunities and experiences that left me pinching myself wondering if it was real and actually happening to me.

This was the year I turned thirty. I felt this to represent crossing the threshold into real adulthood. Sure, I have taken on almost all the responsibilities that come with being an adult since my late teens, but for me, there was something about leaving my twenties that really made me think that if I ever doubted it before, I was now unequivocally an adult. And with that, there were certain aspects of my life that just weren't going to cut it anymore. Personally, professionally, socially. Making those difficult decisions is like removing a bandaid. You mull over it for so long but after doing it, you wonder why you didn't do it sooner. 

Most difficult for me is ending this year with less people than I started out with, whether by circumstance or by choice. However it happens, ending friendships and 'unknowing' a person is possibly one of the bitterest pills to ever have to swallow. 

Through all of this, the sun never failed to let me know that it would always pierce through even the heaviest of clouds. I couldn't be more grateful and appreciative for the support of those closest to me, in both my losses and my victories. I'm also overwhelmed by the support and following I have received here on the blog. I love reading all your emails and comments and that you take the time out of your day to stop by is genuinely heartwarming. 

With so many opportunities received this year, it's almost difficult to believe some of the things I have done. Hitting the catwalk for Telstra Perth Fashion Festival's Restyle is an experience I doubt I will ever forget. Working with FORM and meeting so many of the artists I personally admire and respect has been a thrill and I look forward to collaborating with FORM further in the new year. Getting to know some of the most wonderful and creative people in Perth has also been a privilege.

The highlights have most certainly outweighed the low points, and in fact I have to be thankful for some of the more difficult times. I leave this year feeling that I've learnt so much, particularly about myself. Admittedly, I am a very hard headed person. Sometimes I resist the things that I know are best for me and it may have taken awhile, but everything that I was meant to learn this year have slowly seeped in.

Moving into 2015, there are big plans on the horizon. I'll soon find myself back in New York, one of my favourite places on this earth. In fact, it only just dawned upon me that this is the only year in a long time that I've not travelled anywhere. I had to think long and hard if I were not mistaken but sure enough, I've not left Perth at all this year. While in New York, I'm working on a couple of projects and happy to be spending my time there with my awesomely talented friend Shu, whose talents produced all but two of the photos in this post. Upon returning, I'll be preparing to move into the house that I spent most part of this year searching for. I believe in things happening when and as they should, and purchasing this particular house was quite serendipitous considering the circumstances. It's gorgeous and exactly what I wanted.

Most importantly, I'm happy at the place I have found myself and move into the new year knowing that I have done a lot, lived a lot and learnt a lot. Though I may not be happy with all that has happened during the way, or how I have handled it all, it's all had its purpose in bringing me to this day where I can look back on this year with a smile and ready to welcome 2015 with optimism, excitement, open arms and a chilled glass of champagne.

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